Sexless marriages have led to divorces. In this Divorce Diary, a lady founds out that her husband was someone else’s bitch, Ahmed Kasimu Shehu narrates!
So I became nervous. Jamilu started by saying “I am aware that your husband ignores you, but don’t worry I will fill that void for you.” I was shocked and scandalized. As I stood there frozen by shock, he grabbed my hand and drew me to him. I pushed him off and told him what a disgusting pig he was. What he said next broke my heart to tiny little pieces. He said he was only trying to help me feel like a woman because I was married to somebody’s bitch. I asked what that meant and he asked me to go home and inquire from my husband what that meant. I was confused because somebody’s bitch meant my husband.
Read Divorce Diary S01 E01: Beautiful Beast here!
I drove home in tears and waited patiently for Kabir. Jamilu’s words kept playing back in my mind. Was Kabir gay? Was he sleeping with men? When he came home, I told him what transpired and to my surprise he broke down in tears and admitted he was somebody’s bitch indeed. He told me that a certain highly placed public official had become his lover. And that’s how he had been living this lifestyle. He told me that he didn’t want to have sex because he didn’t want to pollute me with his impurity. I was in a daze! Then he told me that I was free to make Jamilu my lover if I had needs that he didn’t fulfill. He begged me na rufa mishi asiri (to conceal his secret). My initial reaction was to stab him continuously till all the blood from his body is drained and flowing on the floor. Who was this wicked soul? How could this beautiful man utter such ugly and horrible words?
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It was divine grace that kept me calm. I told him I needed time to think. I went and packed and the next morning I went to Sokoto. It’s funny how my husband showed me more concern in those two weeks than he had done in all our four years of marriage. He called nonstop and I told him I wanted a divorce. He quickly granted me one talaq. I was feeling a mix of emotions. Bittersweet emotions! It wasn’t easy at all, especially with all the questions from family and friends, but my faith in Allah kept me going. I went back to school and just last month, I concluded my Masters.
I still get hurt especially when people insult me for being divorced. People say I’m an ungrateful woman who left when the money arrived; that I was a greedy woman who was impatient and demanding. But people don’t know. But Allah knows. And He will make me ok. In shaa Allah I will be fine someday. Thank goodness I am educated and able to take care of myself, my siblings and parents.
Thank you for allowing me to share my Divorce Diaries with you and I hope you will learn from my story.