Divorce Diary Series 03 Episode 01: Hafiza and IB

Last Updated on November 12, 2017 by Memorila

Today’s Divorce Diary of Hafiza and IB shows that one shouldn’t allow his or her problems to fester; else he/she might end up wanting to kill a loved one!

My name is Hafiza Kashim. I am 34 years old and I would like to share my Divorce Diary with you.

I met my husband IB in 2003 at an aunt’s wedding. We didn’t really date because we married about 4 months later after meeting. We sort of just learnt information about each other as we prepared for our wedding.

Our parents literally took over everything before we even had time to get used to each other. I am the eldest child. My parents had only two of us, both girls. To be frank, I wish everyone will marry like we did.

Our parents endorsed who we married and usually that man was a top notch gentleman. As time went on, I started to realize that though my husband was a good husband, he liked to have girlfriends outside. He was constantly changing women. Every month there was a new babe. I don’t know if he deliberately left clues for me to catch him or he was just careless. But I always knew about his silly indiscretions.

At first these women in his life made me worry, but with time I just started to view it as a hobby that my husband enjoyed. I stopped fighting him because of women. And my peace of mind was paramount to me. I settled down and enjoyed my marriage. We had four children together before our divorce last year. And life went on.

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My younger sister, Hafsat lost her husband in 2011 and my parents were on their way to her place when they had a fatal accident. My parents died instantly. It was such a terrible day for me. Poor Hafsat was beside herself after losing her husband barely two years after marriage.
We were broken and devastated. But my dear husband was on hand to console me and Hafsat… He made me love him so much more during this period. He was always available for me. Whatever I needed, he went the extra mile. When Hafsat finished her iddah, he sponsored us to the Holy Land for Umrah. He insisted that Umrah was the best therapy for bereaved people like us, and he was right.

I returned from Umrah a refreshed as a new woman. So also Hafsat!

Shortly after this, Hafsat moved into our parents’ home. I was really worried about her living in the house; with all the memories and all, she was really going through it. Mood swings and nightmares. I felt helpless. I wanted to ask her to come and stay with my family but my house was a bit cramped. So I discarded the idea.

Until IB told me that he bought us a new house, an eight bedroom house, with BQ… my joy knew no bounds, because finally my sister would have a place in my home. I wanted nothing more than for her to be happy again. So a few weeks after we moved in, I brought my sister into my home, and put up our parents’ house for sale. I told her this was a new beginning… I promised her I would make sure there was no sadness or nightmares. And because IB supported and insisted on the idea, she fit right in, with the kids excited to have Aunty Hafsat at home. My sister was becoming herself once again. She was gradually coming out of her shell. I was fulfilled.

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But suddenly, she started telling me what she noticed about IB’s womanizing ways. She came to me and said “Aunty Hafiza, your husband brought a girl into your bedroom and I think you should do something about it”. I dismissed it and just told her not to worry about the flavour of the month. I tried to explain to her that IB was a good husband, a great father but also a chronic womanizer. I would not upset the peace in my home because of some random chick that happened to be flavours of the month. This went on for some time between Hafsat and I. she would come with a report of IB and his shenanigans and urge me to confront him and I would explain to her that I had learnt to live with his hobby/habit.

Until one day…. A cousin of ours was getting married and I was rushing to attend the Kamu Night. Hafsat said she wasn’t feeling too well and declined to go. Because I was in a hurry I forgot my phone and the Kamu money that was with me. Halfway to the venue I realized this and asked the driver to turn around.

To be continued!

Read the continuation here: Divorce Diary Series 03 Episode 02: Hafiza and IB

External link: Woman to marry two men in Kenya!!!!