Sani Rasheed writes about a mother who over-pampered her daughter but learned lately that her approach was wrong when her daughter died from abortion.
Amina got married to Ahmed about 29 years ago. Ahmed was so nice, gentle, handsome and rich that no other man can compete with him. His wedding with Amina was wonderful. People, friends and relatives did everything possible to make sure that the wedding was fantastic. Up till date, many people still say it was the best wedding they have ever attended.
After their wedding and honeymoon in Lagos, they both resumed back to work at their different places of work. Ahmed was Nigerian Manager of the Stock Exchange, while Amina was a medical doctor in Lagos University Teaching Hospital (LUTH). They were always very happy together.
Two months after their wedding, Amina felt sick and was admitted in the hospital. Later, the doctor confirmed that she was pregnant, and Ahmed was very happy on hearing this. Amina was very happy because she was getting what she wanted through him. Six months after she became pregnant, a policeman strangely walked inside her room one day and told her that Ahmed has been involved in an accident and has died instantly. Amina’s whole dreams were shattered! No husband, no more joy! She believed her comfort was gone forever. Her whole world has totally changed.
About three months after Ahmed’s death, Amina gave birth to a baby girl. And what a beauty she was! She became the envy of the town, as she grew up revealing her intelligence and beauty. Amina named her Maryam, but was popularly known as Mary. Amina decided to pamper her since she was her only child. When neighbours and friends advised her to start training Maryam, she always said Maryam was too young to learn. When Maryam began school, she performed very well in school and always came on top of the class after every examination.
Amina continued to watch her as Maryam progressed in her education, but she never for once helped to train, correct or even to advise her when she needed all these. Sometimes, Amina will see Maryam with some boys at night, some in an inconvenient place for a boy and girl to stay, but she will not caution her. The more she grew, the worse she was in behaviour. When Maryam was in SS2, she began to bring home different sorts of friends, some of whom looked like thugs. Amina felt that when she enters higher institution, she would talk to her and probably change her.
When Maryam entered SS3, her behaviour became so bad that Amina couldn’t bear it any more. But Maryam refused to obey her instructions. Amina decided to start correcting her, but it was too late for her to learn. The more she made efforts to correct Maryam, the worse she became. Maryam started attending parties and kept late nights. Sometimes, she might even stay the whole night without coming home until the next day. Amina started to shout on her so as to make her change, but all the efforts were in vain.
On a wonderful Saturday when Amina came back from shopping, she received a telephone call from a hospital informing her that Maryam had been admitted in the hospital. Amina quickly ran straight to the hospital and saw Maryam, her beautiful daughter crying on a sick bed. When she met the doctor, he told her that Maryam’s case was very critical because a quack doctor had attempted to abort her pregnancy. The operation of the quack doctor had damaged her womb severely, and her womb had been seriously infected. About an hour after, Maryam was wheeled into the theater for a major operation. Amina stayed in the reception. She couldn’t help blaming herself because she did not train Maryam when she was supposed to. She felt she was still young to learn. When she grew up she made an attempt to train her, but it looked like it was too late.
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Amina began to pray earnestly. And soon, the doctor came out of the theater. He explained that Maryam has suffered loss of too much blood and that it was too late to save her life. The doctor concluded that Maryam has died. Amina shouted and cried as she watched her life tumble down for a second time.
By then she felt it was her fault as she did not advise her when she needed motherly advice and care. Amina learnt that she did not do what she was supposed to do at the right time. And now, she has shattered her whole life by herself.
From Maryam’s death, she learnt that a stitch in time saves nine. So she started praying for forgiveness from God.
Sani Rasheed (08078702641) is from FCE Staff Secondary School, Kano